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Alex's Santa letter

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Dear Santa

I am replying to a job application of reindeer caretaker you put out in the Daily Advocate, I think it said that the elves can't really control the reindeer when they get out of hand. I am ideal for this job because I really love animals, and animals seem to like me, I have experience with large animals because I live on a beef farm in New Zealand raising cows and calves. I also have a lot of time on my hands as I have finished school (wink wink) and I am a extremely hard worker and do jobs efficiently and I do them well.
While I would love to take care of the reindeer some jobs aren't ideal so I am only applying for the following jobs:
Feeding the reindeer
Exercising the reindeer
Refereeing the reindeer games
Sleigh maintenance (Rudolph looks like his harness is itchy)
Protecting from the abominable snowman (machine gun required)
I really hope you pick me!

Yours sincerely 
Alex Dawson
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